I don’t diet, count calories, or step on a scale.

My secret to happiness? Nutrition. I don’t diet, I don’t count calories and I don’t step on a scale. I once thought I needed to. It was shortly after my separation and I thought I could stand to lose a few pounds, so off to a big name clinic I go. Two hours later, $500.00 poorer and a weeks worth of groceries, I walked out feeling more than a little skeptical.

Turns out I was right for my skepticism, from day one I suffered headaches, but figured that was withdrawals so I stuck to it.  By early day two I’m in bed gut wrenching pains, muscle cramps and I started having chest pains by early evening. By the end of day three I was convinced I would never go on a diet again. Within a few hours of not eating the “food” I bought from the clinic, having some real food, my headache cleared up and my muscle cramps eased.

For me Soy Protein will NEVER – EVER replace a Chicken Breast. My muscles, joints, organs and even my soul was making it painfully aware of that fact. I learned my lesson the same way I have learned everything else, the hard way. So I decided then that  I’ll stick with Mother Nature; wholesome, nutritional, clean eating. It’s smart eating and a way better relationship with food. In the words of Roxette Listen to your heart, it loves you more than a gimmick or fad it will tell you what to eat.

As for calories. 1st lets define a calorie. What is on the box isn’t a true calorie it’s a kcal a.k.a. Kilocalorie, kilo = 1,000 + calorie = measure of energy that’s 1,000th of a whole unit. So from here on out I’m calling it a kcal. A kcal is the measure of energy it takes to raise the temp of one Kg. of water 1oC. They don’t just stick a thermometer into a bowl of hot water and take its readings, what they do is place a given food into the inner chamber of a bomb calorimeter and light the injected oxygen surrounding the “food” then take the temp. See for me the key word is bomb, which should tell you a thing or two about a thing or two.

I don’t count calories for a few reasons 1. Its maths 2. Its illogical 3. It’s silly. Calories are used by dieters to lose weight to restrict themselves of how much to eat. A calorie is a measure of energy not a measure of nutrients. You have to spend the energy you’ve eaten to make the maths worthwhile. The nutrients from an apple is WAY different than that of a frozen dinner no matter how many numbers are on the box. You still have more bang for your buck with an apple, it’s the only ingredient and it’s not bad for you in any way shape or form.

I look at calories as the same as any other gimmick and fad out on the market. I would rather consume whole foods that Mother Nature provides, no matter how many calories it contains, than any boxed/canned foods that I have to break out a calculator for.

I make it sound like I was never a junk-food junky or over-weight. Oh buddy was I ever, at 4’ 11” 175lbs. I was round. It didn’t seem logical to count calories over nutrition back then either. Which is also why I know it’s a waste of time to count kcals and read labels, when its way more productive and healthy to eat foods that do not require packaging or label reading. It has taken me years to get to the point of not eating a bag of chips and drinking a 2 liter bottle of pop every night. I tried to do it all at once, cold turkey but I couldn’t do it. I quit smoking after 22 years but I couldn’t stop eating junk food. So I decided to take it one step at a time and not rush myself too much. That’s why it’s taken me 4 years to get to the point where I’m not ingesting packaged or junky foods daily. Nutrition and portion control, which I am still struggling with, is my goal.

Ode to the scale.

You jerk you mean lying bastard! How dare you say I’m over weight, how dare you make me feel fat. What is in a number anyway? Numbers are for those who need reassurance, for those who like self-abuse and need a reason to look down upon themselves.Oh scale why do you flash your accusing numbers at me leave me alone scale leave me be. Please just leave me be.

Thank you Thank you.

*finger snaps*

Scales are useless and only contain numbers which leads to maths. I just recently did a BMI assessment online and according to that I’m obese. I’m 4’ 11” weighing in at 135 – 40’ish maybe more I dunno I can see my gut hanging over my pants. Scales and BMIs do not take into account lifestyle, muscle mass or physical condition. Think a weight lifter relies on a scale to tell him or her how they look and feel? My anger at weight measurements like scales and this BMI assessment is they doesn’t take into account I have nice muscle mass for such a little one. Yeah muh gut hangs out a bit, but I’ve had 3 kids, I’m turning 40 and had an unhealthy past so I’m not supermodel material who wants to be anyways? I can lift 66 lb. concrete bags in 50 count reps. within minutes, I worked as a warehouse worker recently and for 9 hours a day I was lugging bags of mortar and grout and rolls upon rolls of carpet under-pad. I did a stint as Carnie where I was rolling and unrolling 500 – 1,000 + lb. bouncers and hauling 80 lb. buckets of cement. I’m pretty stacked if do say so myself. So saying I’m obese is not very nice at all. The calculator site did say that it is not a very accurate reading and one should have a proper body fat count done by a professional. I caution that a person use the term professional in strict regards, pro should mean your doctor, a registered dietician or any other LICENCED!!! Professional. Don’t go by what gyms and weight loss clinics say they’re there to sell you their products and services not to care for your wellbeing.

Anything or one ever that tells you how to feel or should feel needs be ignored. Always listen to your body, heart and soul, take the time for a little internal dialogue before stuffing your face. Calories mean nothing is if it comes from a box can or bag, Diets don’t make you lose weight and feel better and always remember measurements are just MATH!

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